| Kiss the rain.. |
[Mar. 28th, 2008|12:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Snow Patrol "How to Be Dead" | ] |
The breast biopsy from last week came back benign. Had the biopsy of the second one Wednesday. Have to wait another week for the results of this one.
My mother had surgery Wednesday as well. One of her kidneys had died and was causing all sorts of other dangerous health issues so they hope by removing the dead kidney everything else will correct itself. I hope it does! She is all the family I have left as well as a best friend and can not even begin to think about loosing her.
I have a dentist that has offered to do all the work I need for FREE! I don't know why this has happened to me and it just doesn't seem real. I have been blessed with an amazing gift that will truly change my life!
Spent the last few months coming outta a very bad place. Guilt and shame are large parts of the flood of emotions I can now feel and are taking over. Many others are hitting hard and the years of hiding compound it all. Very overwhelming to go from 10 years of numb to one day all the years hit you along with the shame of knowing it got that way by nobodies fault but your own.
Living where I am cuts so deep. I don't share emotions well and I know my shame/hurt/sadness gets read very differently. How can I build a life I am proud of if I can't find a home. If I could work then this situation would not be happening. My disability is effecting many more than just myself. That adds more hurt, guilt and shame. I will be 30 and feel as though I will never amount to to much more than what I am now.
But I have to remind myself that I am working hard to get back the life I once had and the happiness I knew. I know its not easy to do. Life is not easy on anyone. Sometimes I do get tired of the constant struggles but I always have found a way to pick myself up and care on. This time is no different. |
|
|
| A Day Late and a Dollar Short |
[Feb. 15th, 2008|06:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
Happy Valentines Day! I hope you all had a great day!
It really isn't about cards, flowers, boyfriends, girlfriends. Thats called marketing!! Cause even if you have all those things it dosen't mean your day will be special. With all that pressure, just like with any other day were "told" should have extra meaning, it more likley to blow up in your face.
Yep, anyway, it's a day late but happy v-day! |
|
|
| Imagine what we will tell our kids!! |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|03:35 pm] |
Can you imagine what we will tell our kids!! Hell, my son can not believe we didn't have tv remotes or cpu's in every home! Which meant no internet! No cellphone. NO cable! We use to play outside all day and not come home till the street lights came on!! Now we can't let them outta our site cause God knows what kinda crazy person is waiting to snatch them up! How fast things change! :)-
OLD AS DIRT---
"Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?" "We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I explained -- all the food was slow!"
"We ate it at a place called 'At Home.'" I went on to explain how "Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it."
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told hi m about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck any more. Maybe he died.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our ho use until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.
I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie." When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.
We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a "machine."
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But MILK was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend:
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to "sprinkle" clothes with water
because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.
How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.
Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16 Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19 Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!
I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my life.
"Senility Prayer"...God grant me...
The senility to forget the people I never liked
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do
And the eyesight to tell the difference." |
|
|
| Thoughts from me to you! |
[Jan. 22nd, 2008|10:42 pm] |
I found this and it says what I need to say. I know and sadly, am to often reminded that we don't always have tomorrow to say what we need. I hope that I show how important you all are to me. I know that I have trouble showing feelings and that my shyness holds me back from doing many things. Like calling people or going places. I am trying to correct that. But I hope nobody has any doubts that I love them and need them a lot more than you all may know.
k, enough girly feeling for one night!
Love to all,
Michelle
Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows
I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late.
Seize the day! Never have regrets!
And most importantly,
stay close to your friends and family,
for they have helped make you the
person that you are today!
SMILE, even through your tears!!!!! |
|
|
| Snoring!! |
[Dec. 4th, 2007|03:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Ryan Adams "La Cienega Just Smiled" | ] |
First, I must say "HAPPY B-DAY ROB! I love you!!"
O.K. now....
Rob's snoring is earth shattering. You can hear him on the other side of the house and that is not a lie. He always makes fun of his mom for snoring so damn loud and I try to tell him, "hey, hun, u sound just like her!" He thinks I am lying.
So, the other night I was up at 3am, guess what had me up.... Anyway, I took my cell, shut the ringer and used the house phone to call my cell. Let the voicemail pick up and recorded away. They next day I had Rob listen to it. He couldn't believe he sounded like that. Now he is willing to see some one about it. THANK GOD!!
Maybe I will be able to sleep a full night again one day! Keep your fingers crossed for me! |
|
|
| It's been awhile since I have updated this thing... |
[Nov. 15th, 2007|05:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
What a day. I was at my spinal doc today because of problems in my legs which may be caused by something wrong w/my spinal cord or maybe in the brain. Have to have an MRI and go back in a couple of weeks to find out what we should do next. Fun.
The floor on the drivers side of the car may be rotting out. Gonna have to jack it up and take a look from under the car. That will be an oh so fun repair! I noticed today that the rug under the pedals was SOAKED and spots had some sinking. I will just keep thinking happy thoughts and everything will be fine! (Let me have my delusions! lol)
Dylan is w/his father this weekend. Family wedding. So, if I don't come up with anything better to do, I will be watching the 1st two seasons of the new Doctor Who show. (Yes, I am a nerd and I am ok w/that) I rented them from the library cause I am to poor/cheap to buy them.
I am off again. Have to go pick up the hubby. And hopefully get some sleep tonight. The bags under my eyes are starting to look frighting! lol
Happy Happy Joy Joy! :)- |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2007|07:24 pm] |
----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: LET'S ROCK AUTISM...NYC!!!
Date: Nov 13, 2007 3:45 PM
This morning, President Bush vetoed the FY 2008 Labor, Health and Human Services and Education Appropriations bill. This bipartisan bill had strong support in both the House and the Senate, but the President objected to the overall funding levels of the bill, which includes modest increases for vital programs - most of which have experienced significant cuts, lost purchasing power or both over the past three years.
This legislation includes significant increases for autism programs at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the Health Resources and Services Administration and the National Institutes of Health. These increases represent full funding of the Combating Autism Act, and are critical in improving our ability to diagnose, intervene and develop new therapies for autism. We need this crucial investment!
The House could move to override the President’s veto as early as this week. Contact your Member of Congress and urge them to vote YES on the veto override.
Click here to take action now.
https://secure2.convio.net/asa/site/Advocacy?JServSessionIdr009=223xeacqo7.app24a&cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=179 |
|
|
| How Freaky are you? I'm 59 Bad girl! |
[Nov. 3rd, 2007|11:10 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  loved | ] |
How Freaky are you in bed?--
GET A PIECE OF PAPER AND NUMBER IT FROM (1-13)
AND NO CHEATING!
SEE THE RESULTS AT THE END OF THE TEST!
WHEN YOU SEND IT ON PUT YOUR SCORE IN THE SUBJECT BAR...
1.WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
A. LIGHT COLOR
B. CHANGE COLORS
C. DARK
2.IF YOU WERE TO MEET UP WITH THE CRUSH OF YOUR LIFE YOU WOULD...
A. SEDUCE THEM
B. JUST CHILL
C. CHILL AND THEN SEDUCE
3.WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF WEATHER?
A. RAIN
B. THUNDERSTORM
C. SUNNY
D. CLOUDY
4.WHATS THE BEST TYPE OF FRUIT?
A. STRAWBERRIES
B. CHERRIES
C. GRAPES
D. PEACHES
E. KIWI
5.THE BEST PART OF THE 24 HOURS IS....
A. NIGHT
B. DAY
C. AFTERNOON
6.WHATS THE BEST SEASON OF THE YEAR?
A. FALL
B. SUMMMER
C. SPRING
D. WINTER
7.HEADBOARD OR NO HEADBOARD?
a-HEADBOARD
b-NO HEADBOARD
8.WHATS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
A-LEO
B-VIRGO
C-SCORPIO
D-LIBRA
E-GEMINI
F-ARIES
G-CAPRICORN
H-CANCER
I-PISCES
J-AQUARIUS
K-TAURUS
L-SAGITARIUS
9.PICK A PLACE YOU WOULD HAVE SEX AT OUT OF THESE...
A. ASTRO VAN
B. ON THE ROOF TOP OF A BUILDING
C. PARK
D. AIR PLANE
E. PARENTS ROOM
F. ALL OF THE ABOVE
10.YOUR PHONE SERVICE?
A. SPRINT/CINGULAR/METRO
B. VERIZON
C. T-MOB./NEXTEL
D. ALTEL
E. CRICKET
F. SUNCOM
G. BOOST MOB
11.PICK AN ANIMAL-
A. LION
B. LIZARD
C. SNAKE
D. MONKEY
12.PICK A TOPPING-
A. CHOCOLATE SYRUP
B. HONEY
C. WHIP CREAM
D. NUTS
13.WHICH WAY?
A. UP
B. DOWN
C. SIDEWAYS
NOW THINK OF THE PERSON YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON OR A PERSON WHOSE ASS YOU JUST WANNA SMACK=========
***ANSWERS****
1.
A. LIGHT COLOR------ (4) POINTS
B. CHANGE COLORS- (5) POINTS
C. DARK---------------- (4) POINTS
2.
A. SEDUCE THEM--------------- (5) POINTS
B. JUST CHILL------------------- (2) POINTS
C. CHILL AND THEN SEDUCE- (4) POINTS
3.
A. RAIN--------------- (3) POINTS
B. THUNDERSTORM- (5) POINTS
C. SUNNY------------- (4) POINTS
D. CLOUDY----------- (2) POINTS
4.
A. STRAWBERRYS- (5) POINTS
B. CHERRYS-------- (4) POINTS
C. GRAPES---------- (3) POINTS
D. PEACHES-------- (4) POINTS
E. KIWI-------------- (5) POINTS
5.
A. NIGHT-------- (4) POINTS
B. DAY----------- (3) POINTS
C. AFTERNOON- (5) POINTS
6.
A. FALL-------- (3) POINTS
B. SUMMMER- (4) POINTS
C. SPRING---- (2) POINTS
D. WINTER--- (5) POINTS
7.
-HEADBOARD-------- (5) POINTS
-NO HEADBOARD-- (2) POINTS
8.
LEO---------- (5) POINTS
VIRGO------- (5) POINTS
SCORPIO--- (5) POINTS
LIBRA-------- (3) POINTS
GEMINI------ (4) POINTS
ARIES-------- (3) POINTS
CAPRICORN- (3) POINTS
CANCER------ (4) POINTS
PISCES------- (5) POINTS
AQUARIUS--- (4) POINTS
TAURUS------ (5) POINTS
SAGITARIUS- (4) POINTS
9.
A. ASRTO VAN------------------------------ (3) POINTS
B. ON THE ROOF TOP OF A BUILDING- (4) POINTS
C. PARK------------------------------------- (2) POINTS
D. AIR PLANE------------------------------- (5) POINTS
E. PARENTS ROOM------------------------ (5) POINTS
F. ALL OF THE ABOVE-------------------- (10) POINTS
10.
A. SPRINT/CINGULAR- (5) POINTS
B. VERIZON/IMMIX------ (4) POINTS
C. T-MOB./NEXTEL----- (3) POINTS
D. ALTEL----------------- (5) POINTS
E. CRICKET-------------- (2) POINTS
F. SUNCOM-------------- (3) POINTS
G. BOOST MOB---------- (4) POINTS
11.
A. LION------ (5) POINTS
B. LIZARD--- (3) POINTS
C. SNAKE--- (4) POINTS
D. MONKEY- (3) POINTS
12.
A. CHOCLATE SYRUP- (3) POINTS
B. HONEY--------------- (2) POINTS
C. WHIP CREAM------- (5) POINTS
D. NUTS----------------- (3) POINTS
13.
A. UP----------- (2) POINTS
B. DOWN------ (3) POINTS
C. SIDEWAYS- (5) POINTS
NOW ADD YOUR SCORE UP!!!!!!!!!
RATINGS:
25-34= PRIESTS SON or DAUGHTER. YOU MIGHT AS WELL SAVE IT TILL MARRIAGE.
35-49= PRETTY DAMN FREAKY, BUT THERES STILL A COUPLE OF TRICKS U CAN LEARN... FROM ME.
50+ = TOTAL OUTRAGEOUS FREAK! OMG! CALL ME!!!! NO SERIOUSLY START DIALING!***
LET YOUR SCORE BE KNOWN!!! |
|
|
| My Little Car Accident |
[Oct. 25th, 2007|07:20 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
Tuesday, some guy bashed in to the back of my car, in front of the police station (talk about luck, right??). I was stopped and he hit me at about 15 mph. It was fun. You should all try it, who needs Great Adventure?! I am ok. Nothing more than being sore. I'm very lucky!
I want to go back to bed but I think it would just make it worse at this point :( Got to much to do, not to mention an away match today w/Dylan's cross country team. It's at a school I went to for a bit, Mount Sinai (sp??). Haven't been back there in atleast 12yrs. Not that any of this matters.
Maybe I will just lay down for a few mins......... |
|
|
| I moved :( |
[Oct. 21st, 2007|08:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
Just thought I would let anyone who cares to know that I am no longer in Middle Island. If you have that #, you could keep it but that seems silly since the new people won't know you. MOVING SUCKS!! Just incase anyone was unaware of that fact. Goodnight and Goodluck :)- |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2){kind=small}
lilmish's journal